Recession Depression

I thought since today is Lundi Gras and we have been stuck in the house all weekend we would take a little trip down to the mall.  I have 2 malls that I frequent and we went with my second choice because I knew the first choice would be crazy and closing early due to parades.  You DO NOT want to be stuck in parade traffic with 2 tired kids for hours.  I have heard that many malls around the country are like old abandon western towns with rolling tumbleweeds included, but not down here.  I am not sure but I don’t think the foreclosure or recession is hitting New Orleans that hard.  I am sure there are people struggling in our fine city, but aren’t there always?  You can go to the major mall and find it packed with strollers and shoppers.  And today was no different, people needed their Mardi Gras outfits. 

I don’t know about other people, but I am really, really thinking about all our purchases these days.  ALL of them.  While President Obama would include us in the top percentage of income and the “wealthy”, our income is a third of what it use to be.  This means we don’t take vacations like we use to, have cut out the once a week housekeeper and follow the budget to a T.  I know many are you are crying a river for us. (/sarcasm)  Long gone are the days where shopping was something to do when I got bored.  And I will admit it, I got a high from shopping and I never felt bad over our purchases.  Sure I had cut down, because stuff was starting to take over the house, but that was more of not wanting stuff to occupy more space than actual humans.  Where I use to not look at prices, I am now scrutinizing every price.  Do I really want this Gymbo shirt for $12?  The answer is almost always, a resounding NO!  The kids have enough clothes, although we may need to start looking at shoes soon.  However, we will be looking at what we really need and not the sparkly shoes that catch Amber and my eyes.  I cringe every time the kids grow out of something and I have to throw it in the give away pile.  That may stop soon, because we have another on the way and I am sure I wouldn’t have to buy a stitch of clothing no matter what sex the baby turns out to be.

This phenomenon struck me today.  I passed all the regular priced goodies and went straight for the sales racks.  Since this was my second choice mall, the sales racks were slim.  The more popular mall has a ton of clearance items most of the year.  I would pick up something that was okay, walk around with it and then put it back.  Hey, that $6 I spend on that shirt, today, maybe needed for milk tomorrow.  I even went so far as having Amber trying on this cute navy sundress at GAP.  It was on sale for $24.99 and cute, but after she tried it on and it didn’t fit quite right and didn’t look exactly as I had envisioned I put it back.  I am happy that Amber agreed with me, although that is a fight I would have taken up because we simply didn’t need that dress.  A couple of years ago, I would have never bothered with the trying on and just bought it, because it was cute and I knew that Amber would grow into eventually.  Needless to say we bought nothing for the kids, today, unless you count the mall cookie they require whenever we go.  I think it is the only reason my son agrees to go to the mall.  I simply could not pass up the Bath and Body Works $3 sale on their hand soaps, but I did keep the number down to the bare minimum and we were running low.   

We have done a lot of soul searching during these economic times.  One thing that we love to do is go out to eat, but I am rethinking that.  We use to not worry about dropping $60 on a dinner 3 times a week, but even though we still go out to eat we usually choose the lower end restaurants.  I am starting to think, after a few so-so dinners, that maybe we should just cut those out and make mac and cheese at home for a quick meal.   I can cook 3 times a week and be set for leftovers far into next week, so our grocery bill has remained the same.  The point is that if we can’t do what we use to it is better to just stay home and maybe go for a good dessert here and there.  I am not so good in the dessert department. I just keeping thinking that somewhere down the road we will need that $30 we spent on dinner and how I could have bought 5 boxes of Kraft mac and cheese for the cost of it on the kid’s menu.

Logically, I know that we are not as bad off as some people, but it doesn’t stop me from wondering if one day we will be.  We continue to save and pay our bills on time, but who knows what tomorrow brings.  I know this is not good for the economy, because stores need people to spend, especially those with disposable income, which we have ,just not as much.  But how do you get pass the guilt of buying stuff you don’t need, whether on sale or not, while many are out there suffering.  I guess all the rhetoric is working, those that have are feeling guilty because of what they have and others don’t.  I guess in the long run it is a good mindset.  I mean my grandparents lived through the depression and knew how to stretch a buck, meal, clothes, etc. and it wouldn’t hurt most of us to get into this mode.  Now, if I can get pass the $2000 we just dropped on a riding lawnmower this weekend.  We could have kept wading through knee high grass until the boy next door found time to cut it, but in the long run this was on the need list.  We have gone 8 years without one and we knew that this day would come.  Trust me if we could do without a riding lawnmower we would, because Mama would have loved a new Coach bag, but alas we have to have priorities and not losing the kids in the backyard is one of them.

Shopping on a Budget, but Still Keeping Your Kids in Style

I have a friend that could go into any thrift store in the world and within an hour put together a few awesome outfits.  She had a talent for it, but I didn’t.  I would see used clothes and that was it.  I have another friend that whenever she was in a thrift store would go through the purses and most times would find money.  That took patience, which I don’t have much of.  This same purse searching friend could, also, find many treasures among the riff raft, like designer purses in fairly good condition.  I will admit I am jealous of these two women, but chalked it up to them having the patience and talent that I just simply did not have.  So, I just used thrift stores as a way to clean out my house of clutter and focused more on my bargain shopping abilities.  They are not as keen as others, but I get better with each passing sale.

Then I had kids and discovered consignment shops.  It was like I walked into a store that was built just for me.  The store took care of weeding out the trash and I simply had to just pick and choose which little treasures that were waiting for me.  I didn’t know there were people out there that thought used kids clothes were gross, but I guess there are some.  As far as I am concerned, kids clothes are probably on the bottom of the gross scale when it comes to used items.  Mainly, because they tend to grow fast and use things less.  Sure they are messy and don’t care much for using a napkin, but that is more of a concern as they get older.  And as I said, the good consignment shops don’t take anything but gently used items.   Infant clothes are the easiest items to find in near new condition at a good price.  A very close second are special occasion clothes.  Why should I buy brand new when someone has taken care of that for me? 

Then I hit a snag.  The consignment shops I relied on so much changed after hurricane Katrina.  I stopped in one day a few months after the storm to shop for my then not born  son.  Many of the regular stores had not opened, yet, due to damage or no inventory, but the consignment shops were overflowing.  They, also, seized their moment and hiked up prices.  I started skipping them when I found a pair of Children’s Place jeans for $10.  Hell, at a good sale I could get them new for that price or lower, if I had a coupon, and there still was the Internet.  That is when my love affair with consignment shops waned, then they started to close around me. 

The lesson when shopping for kids’ clothes is knowing the market.  Most of the well known stores (Gymboree, GAP, Old Navy) have sales that run in cycles.  Also, you need to know how your child grows, which could take some time.  I can say with confidence that my kids are small and can wear clothes much longer than your average kid, which makes it a lot easier to spend a little extra if I find something I truly love.  (Yes, I know I said “I truly love”, because at this stage of the game my kids have a small say in what they wear.  Amber is getting more say, but I have ultimate veto power.)  Since economic times have changed and our income has changed, dramatically, I have gone with the motto “buy only on sale”.  It is easier during these times, because the stores are feeling the squeeze, also.  That doesn’t mean I still don’t have to fight a bit.  Maybe it is just my area, but if there is a sale at Gymboree you better get your elbow and knee pads on, because there is going to be wall to wall mothers shopping for their little darlings.  And since the stores have lowered prices even more than in the past, you might have to fight a little harder for that cute little top.  The Internet is your friends during these big sales.  I have discovered that I can find more choices of sizes and styles online then in the store.  I use both the brick and mortar store and Internet to my advantage.  The Internet was great during the great Black Friday Gymboree sale, especially to snag one of the highly coveted $14 winter coats.

I have learned to not only shop only on sale, but to mix in a few Target pieces.  I don’t do Walmart, because I don’t like their choices or quality, but we do love our Target.  Target use to be my go to place for play clothes, but they have had some really great choices for special occasion dresses that don’t break the bank.  I don’t feel so anxious if Amber is running and rolling around trying to find Easter eggs if her dress only cost $20 and not $60.  And unless you resell your kids’ clothes, another thing I am not good at, I would suggest you let your kids, especially your daughters, wear their special occassion clothes whenever they want to.  Amber has several frilly dresses hanging in her closet that she knows she can play dress up, wear to church or out to eat if she so chooses.  Long gone are the days where I am waiting with baby wipe in my hand to make sure to catch some wayward pasta sauce from dripping onto her brand new dress.  I have simply decided that life is too short to worry about every little stain and what is the point of a pretty dress if you only get to wear it once and your mother is constantly harassing you not to get it dirty.  I am a little more careful with the clothes the kids more often, because I would rather people not think my washer is broken.  Another great source for clothes are the discount stores like, TJMaxx or Marshall’s.  Rarely do I find things for myself, but I can find tons of things for the kids.  You can even find name brands in these stores, as well.  I have kept the 2 Plum Pudding dresses I found at TJMaxx for Amber.  If this next baby is a girl she will get the pleasure of wearing these dresses often.   

I have the same mentality with shoes.  When Amber was a baby, it was nothing but Stride Rite, then I realized that those $50 dress shoes were only worn a couple of times before she out grew them.  So my guideline is to buy the better quality, sometimes more expensive, shoes for the kids daily use and search the Target or Payless aisles for shoes they may wear only a few times before they grow out of them.  I have, also, learned to look at some of the department stores, like, JC Penney’s, for Stride Rite brands.  They are usually cheaper.  And if I find myself near a Stride Rite outlet store I stock up.  It is well worth it to stock up on the next size up shoes for the kids at half the price of the regular store.  I am not above buying used shoes for the kids, but I rarely find really good ones.

I will admit I started out buying the high end clothes for my daughter and it took some time to learn there was a better way and while I might have lost my love affair with consignment shops I am not above them or thrift stores.  There are a couple of stores I have had my eye on, but haven’t had the time to go, yet.  I am hoping that as soon as I find out the sex of the baby cooking, right now, I will be heading there, because there is no need for her/him to sleep in brand new footie pajamas, which saves money for much cuter outfits down the road.  And yes, I do have look through my high end catalogs and developed long wish lists in my mind, but I have come to learn that they have sales too.  If I can just wait a little longer, I might just get that little treasure I had my eye on for half the price.

Wishlist

All items from Chasing Fireflies.

Wood Nymph dress

Denim Dream dress

Rose blush jumper

Chantilly Cream ruffle skirt

Joy dress

Apple blossom dress

French fairy dress

Ballerina blossom dress

And last, but not least:

Red prima pettiskirt.

Manis and Pedis for the school aged set.

I never, hear me NEVER, wore open-toed shoes. Then I met my husband, who for some strange reason likes painted toe nails and seeing them peek out from a shoe.  It would take a lot of persuading on his part, but eventually I would come around.   I never understood the attraction of wearing open toed shoes.  I mean who wants to look and, possibly, smell feet.  GROSS!!  I, also, didn’t realize the shoe styles I was missing out on, either.  I was happy keeping my little toes hidden from the world.  I guess my problem was worst than I thought, because I rarely went barefoot, even in my own house.  Things have changed, since I have discovered the wonders of a good pedicure and how hot a  hugely pregnant woman can get during the height of a New Orleans summer.  So I jumped into the world of naked toes, which meant that I needed to get my feet in some decent condition, which wasn’t tough since I worn socks and tennis shoes for most of my life, or at least something that people wouldn’t grimace at.  Now, pedicures have become a monthly indulgence for me, as well as finding and buying the many styles of shoes that have been opened up to me.  I wonder how the hubs feels about all this, now.  Doesn’t matter he has opened the door and I have gladly stepped right into it.

For my daughter she gets the daddy pedicure, which involved the cutting of the nails and a slather of her choice of polish.  She doesn’t get her fingernails done until she can stop sucking on them.  I can’t bare the thought of her eating polish.  Apparently, children remember trauma from their newborn years since neither of my children will allow me to cut their nails for fear of my hacking away at their skin.  Hey, you try cutting something the size of a tic-tac on a squirming noodle.  So,  I shouldn’t have been surprised when Amber overheard me confirming my pedicure appointment for Monday morning and asked if she could get one, too.  I guess Daddy’s salon isn’t cutting it for this modern day girl.  My gut reaction was to tell her that I had waited over 30 years to get my first pedicure and when she reached that point in her life she was more than welcomed to get herself one.

I see my pedicures as finally getting the carrot at the end of the stick.  When we can afford them, I get them, but once money gets tight it is one of the first things to go.  It is a luxury.  An adult luxury.  It is my one chance to get a foot massage and attention, lasting more than 3 seconds,  without any strings attached.  As I sat there all alone in the salon (a privelege afforded to those that are awake and willing at 9am on a Monday), watching the lady work on my feet, I wonder would I be okay with having another person’s 6 year old sitting next to me during my special time?  And the answer is no, which means I won’t afflicted my child, no matter how well behaved I believe her to be, on others there trying to relax.  I mean the salon asks that we turn off our cell phones for the benefit of others, wouldn’t that included a chatty 6 year old?

I, also, had visions of producing some Super Sweet Sixteen spawn that stomped and yelled at me because she didn’t get her million dollar party and the exact color BMW that she wanted.  Not that that was ever in the cards for Amber, but when has that ever stopped a kid from pouting and whining when they didn’t get something that they wanted.  I am sure this is just my over active imagination at work, during a time when I had nothing else to think about, but could something like this spawn more demands for expensive and traditionally reserved adult activites from the school aged set?  Who knows? 

Another factor is that my pedicures are not cheap, or, at least, I don’t think so.  I spend $55 (including tip), which is why they are a once a month thing.  Could I justify spending that much on my 6 year old, who could possibly not want all that it would entail?  Sometimes I can’t contain myself when the lady is sanding my feet and she hits my tickle spot, I can only imagine what Amber would do.  Besides, aren’t these things that only the mega rich and pagent moms do for their kids?   

I am not saying that I have written off ever getting a pedicure with my daughter, but it won’t be until she can be more appreciative and understand it is a luxury and not a must have.  Something we have been trying to explain to Amber as she gets the gimmes whenever we walk into a store.  I am, also, not saying that any child under the age of 12 years old will turn into a Prada-BMW-Champagne-diamond demanding teenager if she gets an occasional manicure or pedicure.  I just don’t think it is a road I want to travel with my daughter.  I understand she wants to be like mommy with her Coach bags, pedicures and more than enough black shoes, but she needs to understand that I didn’t come out of the womb getting these things.  I had to marry into them.  (/sarcasm)

Hold the Shopping Bag

Remember when I thought I had found everything I was looking for inside the pages of a Hanna Andersson catalog?   Well…being the obsessed good shopper that I am, I just had to look around a bit more before I made such a huge commitment.  And look what I found at Gap.com:

Okay, you have to admit this just screams Christmas elegance at a good price, only $39.50. 
So you guessed it, I have changed my mind and this will be the dress that Amber will wear in our Christmas photos.  After I find the right shoes and stockings, of course. 
The bigger question is will this dress be suitable for a May wedding?  My inner self is screaming no, but my wallet is screaming, in Tim Gunn style, Make it work! *sigh*

And of course it comes in black and the classic plaid:

However, I think the Russian red (love the name of that color) is the best for the season.  The plaid makes it seem a little more casual. 

So there you have it.  Never stop at the first store, keep going until you have exhausted every possibility.  This must be why people hate shopping with me.  Amateurs!!

 

 

Tales from my Shopping bag

I had unofficially started looking for the kids Christmas outfits, recently.  I say unofficially, because I was just browsing in my usual spots and finding nothing.  So hope started to fade and desperation started to set in.  I want pictures and those need to be done soon or they won’t be ready before Christmas and I might want to send out the pictures as cards, too.  I can’t say for sure, because who knows how these little heathens darlings will behave during the photo shoot.  The pressure is on, though, and I need to find some great looking outfits before I wake up with cookie crumbs on my chest and a 2009 hat on my head.

I was getting really disappointed looking at my old haunts, because everything seem to mirror last year.  If I wanted last year’s looks then I would just use last year’s pictures.  I wanted something different and new.  I have talked about Hanna Anderrson before and generally I will tell you I like them.  However, I don’t tend to buy from them much, especially during the summer, because not much wows me.  Then comes the holidays and Hanna Andersson out does itself.  If they keep this up, I will continue to go to them for my holiday and winter needs.  Which is not much, considering our winters down here in the Deep South are practically swimming weather when compared to Sweden. 

I had casually thrown my new Hanna Andersson catalog in my bag before I left for carpool on Friday, thinking I would browse through and hopefully find something suitable for the kids’ holiday outfits.  How surprised was I when I found myself slumped in the driver seat of my car, ignoring Sam tearing through the rest of the vehicle while I drooled over every outfit in the catalog.  I quickly grabbed my pen and marked up practically the whole thing.  Later that evening, I would do what I normally do, go online and fill up my Internet shopping bag with everything that my little heart desires and fall dead from the shock of my ending price.  Sadly, much of the tights and ankle tights would have to go to make room on the credit card for the pretty, twirling dress for Amber, snugly sweaters for Sam and that one pullover that I had to have for myself.  Besides, I can buy quality tights and ankle tights, locally, at better prices.  Although, no one beats Hanna Andersson for patterned tights.  Nothing for the hubs, unless he would like me to get him his own big boy sized green and red striped long johns for Christmas morning.  Somehow I think I would be struck down by lightening before he ever fought to get those on. 

Now, on with the pictures.  Again, most of what I have found is for Amber.  Sorry, it is a cold hard fact that girls have way more options than boys.  Also, I had done a good job already of getting Sam long pants on sale during the summer, so all he really needs is shirts.  I was more concern with his Christmas sweater to match whichever dress I managed to decide on for Amber than anything else. 

Casual, everyday:

This is the dress Hanna does best.  It takes on short sleeves in the summer and long in the winter, but mostly it remains a comfortable, twirly girl’s dream. Add tights and the right shoes and it is the perfect outfit for almost any occasion.

I am not sure what it is about this dress, but I am in love.  The pattern is beautiful and it looks warm and toasty.  Paired with boots or some of Hanna’s pretty embroidered ballet flats and this dress is ready for a day at school or running through the forest. Hmmm, we don’t have many forests where we live, but the swamp can get a bit nippy during the wintertime. 

This is the perfect sweater for everyday.  It is great to wear over a light top to take off when you enter the suffocating heat of any indoor area around here.  It seems we have two temperatures: Africa hot when it is cold out and Antarctica cold when it is hot outside.  Somehow those pesky thermometers have perplexed us Southerners for a long time.  Anyway, not only is this a pretty sweater, but it is practical and I can probably get 2 winters out of it.

And because I loved it so much, I got one for myself.  In black, of course, because I am a grown up and pink was never my color. 

The perfect denim skirt to round out the bunch.  Great for long sleeve t-shirts or sweaters. Pair with some tights and ballet flats and this girl is all set for her hectic day at school.  Again, for us, this skirt may even see the light of summer.

Now for the long await ballet flats, I keep going on about:

I love ballet flats, but can’t wear them myself.  They tend to make me look shorter, which is something I don’t need help with.  So, I get them for Amber.  First she loves the fact that they are called ballet flats and second she, like most women, loves pretty shoes. 

Amber wanted the light pink ones, at first, but had to settle for the brown ones, because the pink and darker pink was not available anymore.  Her first lesson in seeing something you really want only to have someone take it away.  It is a cruel world out there, especially when it comes to shoes.  So we added the brown ones to our bag, which I am find with because I believe they will go with more things in her closet.  Besides, she still has the pink color in there, so all is not lost.

At one point, while I was shopping on the site, Amber came up and started pointing out all of the different things she wanted.  I had explained to her that we may not get everything that I was clicking on.  Well, when we came upon these shoes, she practical blew herself off the sofa.  She just had to have them and sadly I just have to get them for her.  I know, I know, setting her up.  Hey, what else are mothers good for but to set you for liking nice and expensive things then shoving you out in the world where you will have to get them yourself.  It is a cruel cycle, but can’t be avoided.

Christmas dresses:

I love this dress and it was my first pick for Amber’s Christmas dress and then the glaring white scared the crap out of me.  Also, I am worried about how it would show up in pictures.  I am not sure I want a blob of white staring out at me.  It is a beautiful sherpa dress.  However, I tend not to buy things just to look at them, so this one will have to remain in the catalog for us.

Again, I love this dress.  It screams classic Christmas, which is why we have done it a couple of times over the years.  As much as I love it, I just couldn’t do the plaid, again.  I needed something more and different.  However, still a very pretty dress that definitely screams Christmas.

Here is the dress I think I have decided on.  Yes, it still screams Christmas and many of you may have already been down this road, but we haven’t.  I love the snowflakes and the Santa affect.  I guess it would be perfect if we lived where snow felled and reindeer was our transportation.  I am still uncertain, but I, like the others, love it and we haven’t done this style, before.  It may just be a winner.

And last, but not least, the boys:

I was thinking this sweater to go with Amber’s dress and then I get a vision of nothing but red and think maybe something else might be better.  However, this is a classic sweater that can be worn throughout the winter season and goes great with dark jeans, cords or khakis. 

I think this one might be the winner to go with the red dress that I will most definitely, but not entirely sure, get for Amber.  It is perfect, she looks like Santa and Sam is her little reindeer.  Okay, maybe a little hokey, but I like it and that is all that counts. 

So there you have it, what I have found on my whirlwind shopping trip through Sweden where I didn’t have to leave the comfort of my sofa.  I tell you this Internet shopping thing is so great.  Now, if only my credit card and husband were so understanding.

 

 

 

 

Spirit Week

I never had Spirit Week when I was a kid.  You just went to school, did your work and NO FUN! for you.  Then again, I went to a public school and there was not much funds for fun.  Amber goes to a private ultra fun school where the learning is hard, but they throw in some goofy stuff here and there to remind you that this school is special and that is why you pay the big bucks.  Okay, I maybe over thinking this and a wee bit bitter about writing that check once a year.  Yeah, Spirit Week!!

Monday was pajama day, which is Amber’s absolute favorite and, secretly, mine.  Hell, who wouldn’t want to spend all day in the jammies.  Technically, I could spend my whole day in my pajamas, but it is a downward spiral that can take you to doing your grocery shopping in Spongebob pajama pants and large fluffy puppy dog slippers while people wonder if there is a mental ward nearby.  She rolled out of bed, brushed her hair and teeth and that was it.  No arguing over what to wear.  No long drawn out conversations about those shoes versus these shoes.  The world was simple.  I think I might have even skipped a little that day.  I do insist that Amber wear real shoes on this day.  I just get visions of Amber walking straight into a puddle, because she was daydreaming of unicorns or Hannah Montana, and then complaining about her soggy feet.  I am more if thinking about my day being easier than her comfort.  Don’t go handing out those Mother of the Year awards just yet.

Tuesday was a totally different story.  It was Hawaiian day.  Not sure how this fits into Spirit Week, since we are pretty far from Hawaii and our beaches or more like banks of rocks where one can impale themselves, but no one felt it was their job to explain their thinking behind each day to me.  This day proved to be much more tragic.  And by tragic, I mean Amber had ideas of wearing her dance costume to school and I had ideas of people not thinking I let my daughter go out of the house in a pink body suit and gold lame grass skirt.  Fine for the stage, not so much for school.  Besides, I can’t imagine being comfortable in the dance costume all day.  So a compromise was made, with much dramatic OHMYGODIAMGOINGTODIE screaming. Amber worn her pink grass skirt, purchased long ago from Target, pink tier tank top, a flower from her dance costume in her hair and appropriate under garments so to keep her innocence a little longer.  Really there is a small window when your underwear is not a jaw dropping experience and that pretty much stops the minute you go from diapers to underwear.  Besides, doesn’t anyone remember how bad it was to hear the cries of I see London, I see Paris, I see______’s underpants.  I am still haunted by that at night. *shiver*

Today is Support Our Troops day or, as Amber put it, Army day.  When I picked her up from school, yesterday, she informed me that she had to dress like an Army guy.  I don’t think she knew what that meant, because I don’t think she would have been as excited.  I am sure she would be willing to fight for her country, but more in a pink camo capri pants with a frilly top kind of way.  She may not look like a real soldier, but it would be closer than anything else she might have in her closet.  Sadly, the pink camo capris pants were not that well liked and I gave them away many moons ago.  So it was back to racking my brain trying to figure out the best way to achieve a girly solider with the least amount of effort on my part. 

George came in and asked me what should she wear for Support Our Troops Day, this morning.  I told him to find something red, white and blue. DUH!!!  I had no idea what that might be, since I have banned a lot of white from Amber’s closet long ago.  Any mother of a small child does not need that last statement explained.  Then it hit me.  I had gotten Amber a cheerleading outfit/costume from Gymboree a few years back that might still fit her.  I have tried to get rid of it many times, but Amber always catches me and insist that it fits her, even though with each passing month you can see more and more of her mid-drift.   I am okay with her belly hanging out while at home, but that little problem would need to be fixed if she was to be seen in public. With the help of a cami and Amber’s excitement we had our outfit for Support Our Troops Day.  She promptly went into a new cheer she learned from an older girl at school.  O-O-O Offense!  D-D-D Defense!!  I guess that can fit for the military, too.  And really, how can you not be supportive when you are your country’s cheerleader. 

Up next tomorrow, Nerd day. So many problems with this one, but I will save it for another day.

Mini Carrie Bradshaw

Amber has really come into her own with regards to her style.  The girl knows what she likes and she will fight to the death for it.  Okay, maybe she will stomp her feet and whine until I buy her the dress SHE likes and not the one I like. 

Long gone are the days where I can force what I like onto her.  She has been putting up the good fight since about 2 years old, but I could still muscle her into the cute baby dresses that I like.  Now, I am simply an old, feeble woman that just needs to get out of the mall and wants the whining to stop.

George had promised Amber a date day for Sunday.  Then we just happened to find ourselves at the mall on Saturday, of course, while there we had to stop at our regular stores and check out the sale racks.  It would be blasphemy to do anything else, like say go directly to the store we were there for, get a baby shower gift and leave.  OH THE HUMANITY!!!  Our walk through JCPenney landed us in front of an absolute adorable dress.  It was brown with large brightly colored dots, a blue sash and a full skirt, perfect for twirling.  Amber was all for it and exclaimed, “This will be perfect for my date day with Daddy.”  And that, my friends, is where I should have stopped.  However, being the shopping mentor for my daugther, I explained that she must be careful not to pick the first dress she stumbles upon.  We would check out other stores and if we didn’t find anything we would come back for this dress.  Well, we did find something else and Amber had to have it.  I admit it is a pretty dress and she looks lovely in it, but I really wanted the brown polka dotted dress.  I put up a good argument for MY dress, but she wasn’t having it, not even when I offered to buy both dresses.  I am assuming this a look at things to come. 

I will admit it ain’t so bad:

Prim and proper.

Now with more sass.
We are going to wait on the Manolo Blahniks for awhile.
Like when she can pay for them herself.

Swimsuit Shopping

I think we can agree that males have it pretty easy when it comes to shopping for clothing of any sort.  Basically, theirwardrobe, as my friend would say, is Garanimals easy.  There a few pieces and all you have to do is make sure the colors match.

Swimsuits are no exceptions.  From the time boys pop out of the womb they have one choice, 2 if you are daring, in the swimsuit arena, trunks.  Most times a swim diaper will do in a pinch and they are still wearing diapers.  Some will argue that the same goes for little girl babies.  Just put a swim diaper on them and go, but I think that mostly people, meaning mothers, like their little girls to look like little girls.  And this means dressing them in bright dainty colors and frills, even when swimming.  But what happens when those little girls start growing up and are subjected to images of Victoria’s Secret models and a society that believes sex can sell anything.

Have you looked at the state of little girl swimsuits, lately?  There are some that leave very little to the imagination, which for little girls is scary, and then there are some that look innocent enough, but then you notice that add little splash of sexy, which have you shrieking from the store.

Since Amber was a wee little baby I have tried to dress her in swimsuits that I feel are appropriate of her status as little girl and not hot sex kitten in training.  I have passed over the string bikinis, triangle tops and cut out swimsuits.  I stuck mainly to one pieces that look sport inspired or tankinis with rectangle tops and ample cover bottoms.  However, a question has been raised in my mind.  Would I prefer my little girl in some of the more skimpier versions of swimsuit or my future teen daughter?  Then I have a heart attack and rushed to the hospital never to be heard from again. Just thinking of my teenage daughter walking around with men, and younger boys, gawking at her just kills me. 

I would like to think that if I steer her in the right direction, now, then I will have a better chance later in life.  The problem is that is delusional thinking, because as she grows she will have way more influences then her father and I.  And those influences will weigh much heavier than her old and out of touch parents.  Hell, it is already happening. 

First, I would like to blame myself, a little.  As my grandmother did before me, I put magazines in the bathroom for, ahem, reading materials.  I mean sometimes you find yourself in there a little longer than you would like and it helps with a little something to keep you busy.  While my grandmother had Ladies’ Home Journal and Goodhousekeeping, I have the millions of catalogs that are sent to my home every month.  Well in that bunch a few Victoria’s Secrets will fall. One day, I found the swimsuit sale catalog opened and thrown back in the basket.  At first, I rolled my eyes and thought, Geesh! does the hubs have to look at swimsuits on the pot?  Then I realized in my horror that my daughter might have been the one.  This was later confirmed when she bounced out of the bathroom announcing that she was looking at it and how pretty all those “girls” looked.  So step number one, destroy Victoria’s Secret or, at the very least, throw away the catalogs.  There is nothing in there that is appropriate for me at this stage of the game, anyway.  The rest of the blame I will heap on society and the little girls at school teaching my daughter about being sexy.  MY! GOD! What is going on in some of these homes?

We looked through the Target selection of girls’ swimsuits and I chose 5 that I thought were acceptable and Amber agreed were “cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute”!  I was surprised at how many triangle bikinis with prints on the chest area I had to pass up.  I mean I agree that a swimsuit should be cute, but I think function is a little more important at this age.  I can’t tell you how many little girls I have seen jumping into the pool, while wearing their bikinis, only to come up without a top or the top pushed up to their neck.  Granted these little girls have nothing really to hide, but that can’t be comfortable.  Anyway, we tried on the swimsuits and I collasped on the floor with my daughter’s comments.

We choose one that had the sides cut out.  I hesitated about choosing it, but it was cute and when it comes down to it, I would rather her sides be shown then other parts.  It passed the other tests, meaning it covered the other areas find and it fit her remarkably well.  Amber maybe be 6 yrs old, but swimsuits seem to be huge on her, especially in the waist area.  What bothered me the most was when Amber squealed with delight when she realized that the side cut outs maybe her look skinnier, her words not mine.  I chose to ignore it and tell her that the suit was one of the better ones and put it in the maybe pile.  I am of the camp of not making a big deal out of some of the things Amber says, because she tends to focus on them, ALOT.  I would rather have her not dwell too much on skinny or not skinny at her age, considering the girl is 6 years old and her size 4Ts sag at the waist.  The next suit was more sports inspired and will be worn during PE at school, when school starts.

I think if I had to answer the question now or later for the more “sexier” of the little girls’ suits, I would answer never, but I know that is not reality.  I would rather my child not be sexualized at her young age and I definitely want no part in it.  However, I would be of the mind to completely cover her when she starts puberty and lock her in her room.  Again, not reality, but something I am sure most parents think of from time to time.  It is a double edged sword when dressing our girls.  We want them to express themselves, but we would rather they not try to rush things.  It is as old as time, when it was all new and exciting we wanted to dress up and flaunt what our mothers gave us, once we got hitched we hung up our heels and decided tennis shoes were better.  I guess in the end either way you look at men lose on all counts. 🙂 

If you think swimsuits are the only thing you have to worry about when dressing your little girls, how about getting them use to wearing heels at the tender age of infancy. 

A Southern Thang

There are a lot of differences between Southerners and Northerners, but who would have guessed children’s, more specifically boys’ clothing, would cause such an uproar. 

Us, Southerners, really like dressing our kids to impress.  It is not unusual to see kids at birthday parties, church and special occasions in smocked clothing.  Smocking describes the images stitched in an upper panel of a dress or shortalls.  I didn’t know that smocking was, also, on t-shirts and turtlenecks.  I guess that is a good compromise for the mom that likes smocking, but has older boys.  Personally, I am not a fan of the smocking on shirts.

What is the problem with Smocking for boys?  Well some may say it is a little on the baby side or just not appropriate for the rough and tumble life of a boy.  Add knee socks and saddle shoes and you better arm your boy for self defense on the playground, according to the moms on Babycenter.  Like most things in kids’ clothing, girls can be seen in these dresses long after the toddler years, but boys not so much.  It is not determined what is the age limit for boys, but I don’t think you would see many boys in Kindergarten in these outfits. 

These outfits are popular in the South, for one reason and one reason only, our heat.  Sure you can find these in long versions for the winter holidays, but they are best suited for the spring and summer months.  The material is lightweight cotton and seersucker, which makes it a lot more comfortable especially if you have to dress up. 

I have no opinion, really, on how long you keep your boys in smocking, jon-jons or Eton suits.  Basically, these items are formal wear for little boys and isn’t it nice to have more to choose from than khakis and button down shirts.  You, as the parent, are purchasing clothes for your child and what you say goes.  I may wonder why your 10 year old is still wearing saddle shoes and short pants, but really it is none of my business.  I would say that I think at some age the other boys may start to talk and that might influence his opinion on what to wear.  I have own several smocking pieces for Amber when she was younger.  They seem to be the perfect answer to comfortable formal wear for children.  Actually, she would wear them more than just on special occasions.  If I bought the dresses new it was from the consignment shop and never more than $35 a piece.  Sam only had one bubble suit with an embroider Fleur de Lis bib(the bib is attached to the garment).  I admit I was sucked into matching outfits and they were only used for pictures and one outing.  A little much considering they were $80, together, but what can I say I am a Southerner. 

A few examples of Smocking:

Isn’t that just the sweetest thing.  (This is a bishop style dress. 
More of an a-line, instead of a more fitted top.)  There goes my
uterus, again.   
There is no limit to what can be seen on smocking. 

Here is one piece that might have some moms all in a tizzy.
It looks pink, but closer inspection it could be a light orange.
I mean it has to be manly, it has construction vehicles on the front.

I understand that this is a passion for some moms, but it wasn’t mine.  Like all clothes, if I found a piece I liked then I got it.  I never stopped to think what does this say about my child or me.  I think that might be what some people have  a problem with.  These clothes are known as belonging to the upper class.  I think it has finally trickled down to the masses, but that is just my experience.  However, you do need some money to get these outfits, even used.  I think we should keep the fighting among the adults, because really the kids didn’t choose their clothes, they are just out for some fun.