Funeral Clothes for the Kids

A good friend of ours lost his sister this week and we were invited to the funeral.  I decided to keep Amber out of school, because of time constraints and it is nice to have everyone there to support and care for the family’s loss.  Besides, Amber hates to miss any chance she gets to see her Godmother, Godfather and their kids.  I was pleasantly surprised at how well my daughter handled herself.  My son was another story. 

Since my children have been born they have gone to many funerals.  This is in contrast to my life where my first funeral was at 12 years old and then I didn’t have another one until I was well into my 30’s.  I don’t know about you, but my children don’t have many black items of clothing.  I know that is shocking to many people that knew me in my youth.  The black clothes they may have would be really inappropriate for a funeral.  I don’t think anyone would understand if Amber showed up with her Target Halloween skull head shirt or Sam wore his “I do my own stunts” shirt to a funeral.  And I totally understand why.

I believe that whenever you go to a funeral it is to support the family who have lost a loved one and show respect for the one that has passed on.  That doesn’t mean that you must wear all black.  I usually do, because it is something easy for me to throw on after I have spent most of the week thinking about what everyone else will wear.  I am the one that dresses the people in my house and that means that sometimes I don’t spend as much time on me.  I do my best to make it look the opposite. 

So what how do you dress your child if going to a funeral?  You should be fine with church clothes.  Our church is on the casual side, so I went with slightly more than church clothes.  However, I would steer clear of very fancy dresses for the girls.  It is not time for your daughter’s fanciest party dress.  I would keep colors subdued. 

We are in an inbetween stage at our home.  It is was rather warm on the day of the funeral, but cool today.  I would have rather dressed Amber in her black and white plaid jumper, but it is heavier and comes with a long sleeve shirt.  I could have change the shirt, but the coloring would have been off.  I kept in mind what kind of complaints Amber may have with that outfit, so I decided to keep it comfortable but not too casual.  We went with brown shoes, because her normal pink shoes were a little too much in my mind.  I didn’t want the focus to be on her and her shoes, so I kept it more muted.  I had reservations about the red shirt, but because it wasn’t bright red, I thought it was okay.  Her outfit is respectful of the situation, but taking into account her needs, as well.

Boys in general, I think, are easier to dress for such occasions.  I could have gone with a suit or just a shirt and tie.  Since we have none of those for my son, because he would be constantly pulling at it, I decided that this outfit fit the bill.  It is actually an outfit he wore to a wedding we attended over the summer.  He was dressed appropriately, but not to the point that some one would mistake him for an extra from the Addams Family.  Most importantly, he was comfortable. 

 There were other children there dressed in the traditional southern smock outfits.  I thought these were perfect, because they are comfortable for the kids and nice for the event.  When in doubt a smock outfit is usually perfect for the under 3 set, but remember this is not the time to show up with your most elaborate smocking.  Keep it simple.  

I wondered if Amber would have asked to wear her Belle dress.  It is her go to dress for special occasion.  I was glad that I did not have to fight that battle, but I would have.  I was ready to explain that it was not the right type of dress for the event and that we would find another time to wear it.

While perfect for the wedding we attended, I thought it too much of a party dress for a funeral.  Basically, keep the kids in tune with the event.  If it is a big party where everyone is happy and celebrating than let the child’s clothes show it.  If it is more of a solemn event, then keep everything low key.  I don’t think you have to dress your children in head to toe black for a funeral, but remember to respect the family.  It is a day to remember the one who is deceased not to show off your child’s prettiest clothes.

Halloween Costumes

Halloween costumes have become a source of dread for me.  It seemed simple enough when I had one kid and she was an infant.  I made all her decisions, so she was a pumpkin, a black cat and then she started having opinions and all my ideas of Halloween went out the window.  I have this notion that you should be scary, according to your age group, for Halloween.  I would never give my young child a gushing head wound, unless that is what she really wanted, but I had to bite my tongue when Amber announced that she wanted to be Tinkerbell.  Tinkerbell is not scary.  We are suppose to blend in with the undead and get as much candy as possible.

I have accepted that Amber chooses her own costume, with my guidelines, and it will most likely be something from a Disney movie or be covered in glitter.  Maybe, I could give her a knife and she can go as Psycho Cinderella.  Do you think the undead will notice?  As one with kids will tell you, it is not about you, anymore, it is about them, so we solider on.  Besides, I still have Sam to do my bidding and he will be a bat if it kills me and him.  The boy has a problem with things on his head, which makes being the perfect bat a little difficult.

Another issue for us, in the Deep South, is the weather.  I am sure the good people up North have this same problem, but their concern is more about making sure their little darlings don’t loose a limb to frostbite while ours is more of not having one pass out from the heat.  The costume manufacturers tend to have more options, at least for babies and toddler, for the cooler months.  It would be nice to find a bat costume that consists of just the wings and not full body cover.  It would, also, be nice not to spend a small fortune on a costume that Sam will wear maybe once or twice, only if I can talk him into playing Cinderella and the bat with his sister.  These are the days when I wish I kept up with my Home Economics studies.

I have scoured the Internet and all I can find are complete body cover or thread bare half costumes that don’t appear to be worth the money.

We want candy, not heat stroke.

I would get this one, if it was okay to staple the hands and booties to Sam’s hands and feet.  Something tells me that is not right.  So really we would be paying for the cape and a onsie, even then the cape is a not a sure thing. Plus this costume is “Coming Soon”.  What,  they think 3 weeks before Halloween is still too early? 

These costumes can be found here. 

I realize that Halloween is big for some people, but we are in it for the candy and a few cheap scares.  We will enjoy our Halloweenie goodness for as long as the kids will allow us and, yes, I might indulge in some of their costume ideas in the coming years.  However, for this Halloween Amber will be shopping her vast collection of dress up clothes and Sam will be happy with whatever I find at the local Party City. 

One good thing about Halloween entering the stores in September, you can find many Halloween costumes, decorations and candy going on sale, now.  Of course, the big blow out sale will happen once Halloween is over, but don’t wait too long most of the good stuff will be gone well before the 31st.  Keep your eyes on those costumes.  You may get a great deal on a costume for next year or dress up clothes for the rest of the year.  We have found the best dress up clothes for Amber during and after Halloween.   

Tripping down Halloween memory lane:

My sweet little pumpkin, when she couldn’t talk and express her disgust for anything I like.

Our example of going overboard.  Not only did we search all over the city for this costume, we even had a photo shoot in one of our local graveyards.  I wouldn’t change a thing.  I love these pictures.

Pretty witch and her demonic force. 

Last chance at the witch theme, recycled pumpkin and Dad in his uniform for the day.

Upside Down Apple

This is what Amber chose to wear to church, today. 

She informed me this is her Upside Down Apple outfit.  Notice her shoes, that is the stem.

Tank top and skirt from GAPKids.

Handbead from Oktoberfest or as known to Amber, the Festival of Sausage that is Gross (according to Amber).

Socks from Gymboree.

Shoes from Stride Rite Outlet.

Little girl by Southern Mom and Dad.

Let Her in Coach

Good form, already.

Just waiting to be put into the game.

TOUCHDOWN!!!  Now let’s see you do it, Saints.

We couldn’t pick this man out of a crowd, but he should be proud that this little girl chose to wear his number for Team Day at school.

 Happiness brought to you by the New Orleans Saints, the NFL, the Black and Gold store and a mother who decided to shell out $35 so her little girl would feel like part of the crowd. 

Conversation in a Store We had no Business Being In

This week is Spirit Week at Amber’s school.  Each day is a theme and the kids dress according to the theme.  Yesterday was pajama day, Amber’s favorite day.  You would think this would be easy, but no there is much thought in the pajamas you wear to school.  First, it was the Tinkerbell nightgown which should be retired because of the big rip on the side and the shrunken sheer overlay.  I tried to talk her out of it, but relented and said at least wear bike shorts under it.  That is my secret for little girls that like to be pretty, but still want to be able to run and play.  Amber then decided that all she really wanted was to wear Tinkerbell pajamas and her chinese Christmas inspired pant and top set would do fine.  We are still looking for her robe that she just had to bring to school with her. 

Today was celebrity day.  I had no idea what to do for this one, so Amber went as herself, Drama Queen of Kindergarten.  Trust me she is becoming more and more famous for her drama each day so it fits.  Tomorrow is Team Day and I am ashamed I had to ask the office what exactly did that mean.  Basically, pick your favorite team and represent it.  Okay, this should be easy if we were sport watchers in this house, but the closest we get to sports is hearing the Saints lost the day after.  A week or so ago, there was a big Saints game on Monday night, so the Governor of Louisiana declared it Saints day and ordered all of us, citizens, to wear our black and gold.  Funny, I don’t own any gold clothing nor do I own any Saints paraphelia so I just hung my head in shame and hope no one pointed me out as a trader.  Amber on the other hand cried and wailed after school, because she didn’t have a Saints shirt to wear to school.  “Momma, you have to get me a Saints shirt.  Everyone had one, but me. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”  I made a mental note and when they time came I would hunt for the shirt.  Well, the time has come.

I first looked at Academy Sports, but they had a very basic selection of Saints shirts.  I felt the fabric and looked at the design and thought, I can’t put this on my daughter.  The material was not of natural fibers.  I am thinking it is some kind of space age material that can fight stains, dirt and the person wearing the shirt, if they get out of hand.  Since, I couldn’t bare seeing my little princess in black and gold wearing some sweaty burly man’s name, I decided to make the trip to the Black and Gold store across the river.  There was a much bigger selection including toothbrushes, toilet brushes and any other silly item they can put a Saints or LSU logo on.  Man, sports fan are really dedicated.  I don’t think I could brush my teeth with a Saints toothbrush.

There we stood trying to find an appropriate Saints shirt for a little girl that only dreams of princesses and Spongebob:

“Which one do you like, Amber?”

“This one.”  Holding a white mesh shirt with the number 26 on the front and back and the name McAllister emblazoned on the back at the top. 

“Are you sure that is the one you want?”

“Yes, it is pink.”

“Is that the number you want?”

“Yes.”

“How about this one?”  Holding a pink generic football jersey with the number 5 on it.

“NO!  I don’t want that one.”

“Why not, is it your age?”

“No, I want this one.  It means I won.”

“Ooooookay. Do you know what this says?”  Pointing to the name on the back of the Saints jersey.

“NO!”

“It says McAllister.  Do you know who that is?”

“No. Who is it?”

“I am not really sure some big dude that plays on the Saints.”

“OH!”

“Are you sure this is the one you want?  Maybe a black and gold one?”

“No that is for boys.”

“I don’t want to hear any complaining about this shirt, you understand me?”

“Yes.”

“Remember you asked for the shirt and you are going to wear it everyday there is a Saints game.”

“Yes, momma.”

“Okay let’s get it before your brother destroys the store.”

I am sure all the people, who actually follow the game, were annoyed by us, amateurs.  Nevermind, we got a little girl’s shirt so she can fit in and not be a laughing stock of the entire school. 

GO SAINTS!!!!!

Logo or Not to Logo

Here is another heated debate in the parenting forum.  Although, it is easier to tell who is on which side by simply looking at the child.  What  kids wear at certain ages is a reflection of the parents.  The plain truth is that babies and toddler can’t express what they want to wear nor do they care.  But enjoy it for now, because at some time, and it will come soon, children will voice their opinion.  But don’t fret, if you start them along one path early it will be somewhat easier to deflect the opposition when it comes. 

I never really took a stand on logo or no logos.  I had certain stores I liked to shop at for my children and if I saw something cute with a picture on it I would usually get it.  I would say that my kids’ closets are a smattering of character clothing, mostly bought at Target.  I will admit that most of the character clothing stay within the confines of pajamas.  I figured who cares, they are sleeping and anything that helps them sleep better is okay by me.  I was more concerned that my children looked neat and clean.

If you visit some of the bulletin boards or mommy groups and stick around you will eventually come upon a discussion where mothers are going head to head over children’s clothing.  Some believe that we shouldn’t push our ideas onto our kids.  My question is where should they get their ideas?  Most babies I know haven’t experienced more than the four walls of their home or their parents.  I would venture a guess that babies could care less what is on their bodies as long as they are warm and comfortable.  Others believe that kids should not be advertised to and that there is too much commericalism geared toward our children at a very young age.  I concur, but believe that I still hold much of the power against the big marketing companies.  Then there are others that have fallen completely and dress their kid from head to toe in characters or name brand clothing.  I may recoil in some disgust, but my general thinking is that it is their child, their business.

I like clothing that looks like kid’s clothing.  I don’t need my daughter walking around looking like a teenager, just yet.  There will be plenty of time for all that in about 8 years.  However, there is the struggle and it started at 2 years old.  It was gradual, but it happen.  My daughter sat across from a little girl at school who wore nothing but Strawberry Shortcake.  Even at 2 years old, Amber could express that what she wanted was something Strawberry Shortcake.  I will admit she had maybe 2 pieces of SS clothing in her closet, but only things that I thought were appropriate.  Nothing that was completely covered in the little girl with the oversized hat and was within the style of the rest of her closet. 

There was a moment of panic when I thought my child wasn’t fitting in at the ripe old age of 2 years and then I got ahold of myself.  Amber’s style was more about us, as parents, then what she wanted.  I bought the clothes, picked them out and put them on her.  Things have changed.  Amber has some input on her clothing options and she dresses herself.  At this point, I would say that what she wears is more of a reflection of her with my restrictions.  She still doesn’t have any character clothing, because I refuse to buy it.  The compromise has come with saving it for her pajamas.  She wants to wear Spongebob, fine, but save it for the nighttime.  That is fine with her, because at this point she is only out to please herself.

Sam is a whole different story.  This is where my husband comes into play and has directed me in what clothes  work best for our son.  Frankly, I welcome the help, because shopping for boys is a challenge.  There are not as many choices in styles or colors and everything is covered in some kind of vehicle, which doesn’t bother my husband at all.  Again, we have stayed away from character clothing, because it doesn’t fit us.  Sam’s wardrobe is mainly dark clothes with witty sayings.  Yes, I am the one with the little boy walking around with every smartass t-shirt from Target.  I thought they were funny and not offensive so I got them.  I was just happy to find something that I like and didn’t have 4 wheel drive.  Sam basically wears animal, witty sayings, khaki and navy, because it is what I have come across and satsifys my husband’s desire for people to know that yes, he is a boy.  He does own a pair of light up sneakers from Sketches.  I like to think of them as a way to keep track of him when he hides.  Besides, he likes the lights and it distracts him for a moment while I grocery shop or do anything else fundmental to living. 

I am sure there will come a time when Sam will express exactly what he wants to wear, but until then his parents will be making those decisions.  As for Amber, she is always trying to get me to part with my money on things that she must have.  Recently, she told me that she needed cowgirl boots for her horseback riding lessons that she takes once a week at school.  Since, it wasn’t written anywhere on the novel of papers I filled out so she could take the class that it was a required piece of equipment, I am of the belief that the other students are decked out in cowboy/girl garb for their lessons.  Amber was informed that if it was that important to have to have the teacher call me.  I haven’t recieved that call, yet.  I still have some control, but I do feel it is getting harder to hold on to.  Basically, kids must learn what is accepted in their homes and that is determined by the people with all the responsibility, parents.   

Yes, We are from the South. How Could You Tell?

When we first moved into our home, in the backwoods of New Orleans, my husband noticed a little boy outside playing in some puddles.  Playing in puddles was nothing special, but what the boy was wearing was too much for us city folks to comphrend, at the time.  The little boy was 3 years old, out on his own, in his tidy whities and wearing shrimping boots.  It was official we had moved from the big city, where everyone dressed completely when they ventured outside, to the country, where you cover up the important parts and go about your business.

As the evidence below will show you, I succumbed to the influences of little in this little village we call home.  It is just another day of taking care of business and doing it as easily as possible. 

I have all I need.  My butt is covered, my feet are protected and my mute button is on.

Shoes by Crocs

Diaper by Pampers

Pacifier by whichever was found under the sofa.

This wouldn’t be so bad if it was in the privacy of our backyard. 

Later, sucka.  I am off to find dog poop, snails and other crap that will make my Mom scream. 

Note:  Crocs are for kids.  They are meant for situations where getting dirty is not a problem.  And yes, my kids wear shoes outside, because we don’t live in Mississippi.  Duh! 

Bad Hello Kitty?

I was wasting time in Target recently, drooling over the many clothes I would love to get my daughter if only she would wear them, and noticed how far Hello Kitty has come.  When I was a kid, Hello Kitty was a sweet and cute little kitty that never spoke a word.  She was all rainbows and ponies, but I think she has gotten fed up with all that stuff and gone on to more exciting pastures.  It seems, now, she has gone a little punk.  Well, as punk as one can get at your local Target.  She hasn’t recieved any piercing that I know of and she is not shouting about anarchy, but she definitely has a new style.

Some items to start your little girl on her way to piercings, bad boys and every father’s nightmare,  but oh so cute:

I want this shirt for me. 

Perfect with ripped up black tights and Docs.

Perfect outfit for that concert your parents don’t have to know about or that boy.

That belt is just too cute.

Perfect jeans and that chain wallet you have had your eye on. 

And no Halloween is complete without a little H.K. witch.

This is all too much, I think I have completely gone to the Target side.  Target I am yours forever. 

Note:  If you haven’t guessed all above clothes can be found at your local Target or Target online. 

Fashion Trouble

Amber has definite opinions about what she wears.  I usually give her room to express herself and it keeps me sane.  However, I have to step in when we are going to church and she would like to wear something that would give the impression that we just picked her up from the airport after a night of collecting donations.  She had choosen to wear her GAP pink tank top with a very flowing pink skirt that brings to my mind hippies on the streets of San Francisco.  I don’t mind her wearing this outfit when we are going to the park or even school, although her school request no tank tops.  I do draw the line at church.

I don’t make her wear a hat and gloves and the dress I chose for her to wear might cause some to scratch their heads, but I felt it was a better choice.  I choose her brown Gymboree halter dress.  I felt it was more appropriate of a dress to go to church, mainly because it wasn’t wrinkled, but mostly because I thought it looked better.  Not playclothes.  I should mention that, even though, we go to a Catholic church it is rather informal.  Many show up in jeans, shorts and t-shirts.  We have, also, but there is a fine line.  We choose items that still look neat, clean and dressier than going to the park or to plow the back forty.

After the dress scandal was settled and Amber chose her jacket, because it is cold in church, I went back to getting myself ready.  Not long after there was extreme drama and Amber came running into my bathroom crying because a travesty had just befell her.  I couldn’t see anything wrong at first, but then she told me:  “Daddy, made me look like a man.”  I noticed that George had forced upon her his style of the 80’s.  He turned up her collar on her denim jacket.  All was fine, once I turned the collar back down.  Amber could resume her life as a girl.

How dare her dad make her look like a man?  After we killed him and buried him in the back yard for his crime:

Life was restored and we could go on.  Amber is only smiling, because she can’t ignore a camera no matter what tragedy she has just endured.

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